How I Handle Mistakes
Own it, learn from it, commit to doing better, and repair what I can.
Philosophy
I treat mistakes as part of leading and living—something to own, learn from, and use to get better. My approach is built on four steps: accept responsibility, learn from what happened, commit to doing better, and repair the damage as best I can. This aligns with how I lead: ownership, psychological safety, and a focus on learning rather than blame.
The Four Steps
If I've taken command of my life and my work, I need to acknowledge my part in a mistake and take responsibility for what happens next. Even when a mistake isn't entirely mine, it's still my problem and I still have a role in handling it.
When something goes wrong, the default is to let emotion take over—which is the opposite of staying in command. I work to keep my emotions in check so I can respond clearly. That's something I practice continually.
I take time to reflect on what I contributed: the thoughts, feelings, and actions that led to the outcome. In an emergency I may not have time in the moment, but I come back to it. If I don't understand the causes, I can't fix them—and if I can't fix them, I'm more likely to repeat the same mistake.
If I catch myself blaming others or thinking "This isn't fair" or "Why did this happen to me?", I treat that as a signal that I haven't fully accepted responsibility. I go back to Step 1.
I make a plan for doing better. That might mean building a strength—like self-accountability or confidence—or adding a safeguard. For example, if I realize I've been missing other people's perspectives, I might add a simple check before big decisions. Either way, I need a plan and follow-through so I can change how I operate and avoid repeating the same errors.
Most of the time, damage from a mistake can be repaired. Stronger, longer relationships and more consistent behavior make repair easier—but it still takes time. Trust heals like a wound: gradually. Acknowledging impact and apologizing sincerely matters, but it's not enough on its own. I have to be consistent in doing better; one slip can undo a lot of repair.
Some mistakes have consequences that can't be undone. In those cases, the aim is to keep a bad situation from getting worse. Accepting the mistake, learning from it, and then letting it go keeps it from becoming an anchor. I can't change the past, but I can work on how it affects the future. The story I tell myself—that inner voice—can either move me forward or tie me to the past. I choose to use it to move forward.
How This Shows Up in My Leadership
- Psychological safety: I want my teams to admit mistakes and ask questions. I model that by owning my own errors and going through these steps openly when it's appropriate.
- Accountability: When we miss goals, I focus on learning and better systems, not blame—consistent with "learn from the mistake" and "commit to doing better."
- Feedback: I give and receive feedback with the same spirit: direct, caring, and aimed at growth rather than punishment.
What You Can Expect From Me
When I make a mistake that affects you or the team, you can expect me to own my part, reflect on what went wrong, share what I'm changing, and do what I can to repair trust and outcomes. I won't hide behind excuses or let a single failure define how I show up next.